C6 - Having Family or Whānau Stay with You

If you are in rental accommodation, there may be restrictions on the number of people who can live there, and so you may not be able to have family or whānau live with you.

When you are thinking about sharing your home with one or more family members, consider what your relationship is like with them now or how it has been in recent years. If you have had a difficult or strained relationship, inviting them to share your home with you is unlikely to go well unless both parties put the effort in to change that relationship.

Make sure everyone involved gets a chance to share their feelings about the proposed living arrangement, including any children who are involved. This should happen before a final decision is made so that all involved feel that their opinions are being considered.

When considering this option, think about what sort of additional agreements you might need so that everyone is on the same page about what they will be doing as a family on a day-to-day basis (eg, eating together, making joint financial decisions, sharing cleaning and other chores).

Here are some questions to consider:

  1. Is your home and the area you live in suitable for your family member(s)?
  2. Is everyone happy to make the necessary compromises about space?
  3. Do you and your family member(s) have the same expectations of family life?
  4. How well do you get on with your family member(s)?
  5. What will happen if plans don't work out?

Also, think about your own financial situation. How will your family contribute to the expenses of running the home? What are your expectations about their financial contribution? Don't underestimate how hard it might be for family members who are giving up their own home to come and live with you, regardless of the circumstances. This will be a major change for everyone, so some kindness, patience and compromise will be needed from all.

Pros

Cons

What do I need in order to take this option?

Could this option limit my future choices?

Be clear with family who are sharing your home that you retain the right to decide on any future housing arrangement that is good for you.

For more information